A Mystery Solved; A Lesson In Stereotypes

I can think of no better reason to write a post here today than the solution to a mystery almost two whole years in the making (when that's like a tenth of your total time alive, it seems like a bigger deal than it actually is). The mystery of our dear name, which had for so long plagued the reaches of our imaginations, has at last found a conclusion. I write this to sound far more intriguing than it actually will be, because it only goes to show that sometimes your stereotypical first impressions are, in fact, spot on. Not usually the lesson I go for, but a lesson well-worth learning nonetheless. If only to un-learn it promptly.

You probably don't recall the original article, since it was the very first one we ever published, but here it is for context.

A few weeks ago over break, I got a Facebook friend request from an intrepid young soul whose last name is--drum roll--Grunbeck. Let it be known that the cognitive cogs slow to a drooling crawl over vacation, and I was hardly at our  And while my default rude-aloofness kicked in as rudely and aloofly as ever, here are the contents of our little discussion.:

• David

  Hey,
  

  Not entirely sure I know who this is 

  David
• 
  

  4:00pm

  Grunbeck

  I'm not positive either, but this may clear things up?

  
• 
  

  5:14pm

  David

  I mean, if you're trying to be vague, it's working. But I do recall laughing hysterically at that hockey game at this billboard. Sorry?
• 
  

  5:16pm

  Grunbeck

  Haha no, my family found your blog titled after my mom, I just thought you'd like to know the origin of 'Fitzy Grunbeck'

  We thought it was funny
• 
  

  5:18pm

  David

  This makes me so happy, because we literally searched google for like a week before making the blog to see whose name it could possibly have been. Suffice it to say, you're not a middle-aged Irish alumni, like we originally thought xD
  

  Thanks for solving the mystery!
• 
  

  5:20pm

  Grunbeck

  Well you were right about the middle aged Irish alumni part, glad we could help!

  
  

  As if it weren't already apparent by the posts of yore, I'm immensely clever, insofar as that was a terrible joke. Maybe my definition of clever is just way off base. I'm not sure what you expected to learn from the less-than-bombastic end to this surely harrowing mystery, but suffice it to say our intuition was seriously spot on, however quasi-racist our intuition was in the first place. 
  
  A hearty thank you to the Grunbeck family and affiliates for furnishing our bereft little blog with some much-needed pageviews. I hope that Mama Grunbeck's untarnishable honor was not...well, tarnished, by our juvenile chronicling of off-beat BC humor!
  
  D

I swear, I haven't been THAT lazy.

School was tough. I did a play (god, no. I wasn't an actor). I did clubs. I had classes. Blah, blah, blah.

There's never really a decent excuse for failing on a blog, and picking it back up tends to feel awful because, well, you've exhausted your credibility with your audience--if we ever really had that consistent/involved of an audience in the first place!

Suffice it to say, I'd love to start something new in the future. Probably not with as many funny pictures because that stuff would cut into my leftover use-for-sleeping time, but with lots of interesting, maybe even hilarious words. We'll see how it pans out.

In any event, I'll indulge myself and offer anyone reading this something of a shameless plug. I got a writing gig with a website, and so that's what I've been doing for a little while now. Here's the link to my utterly modest opus.

http://daily-download.com/author/david-riemer/

News news news news news. I'm waiting for a job that won't cut out the phrase "community gardens are certainly worth their weight in hipster."

D

Will My Blood Ever Be Worthy?

            When I go to donate blood this Monday, I’m going to be asked a question. Depending on how I answer that question, I could be banned from donating blood—indefinitely.

Preview: Fitzy Goes To Iceland

So for our spring break, we decided to go to Iceland. Don't ask. We're going to tell you all about it later, so expect lots of pictures, a few videos, and a lot of awesome. In the meantime, be jealous:

D

BC Zombie Survival: The Guide

Evolution of the Prepster 001863 Heights Virus Spread by Contaminated Chobani:

It began as a CSOM plot to biologically engineer Chobani yogurt to be tailored to the mainstream and ironically counter-cultural tastes of both the preps and hipsters. Devoid of the practical skills to pull off this momentous marketing feat, they networked up to the A&S scientists, and, using promises of post-collegiate job security, persuaded a team of budding chemists to do the leg work. The plan, as we know all too well, had devastating consequences.