Tornadoes. Seriously?

Certain places just know how to deal with certain forms of catastrophe.

California thinks earthquakes are for chumps.

Florida laughs at hurricanes.

Alaska is...well, shit, it's fucking ALASKA!

But some things just aren't supposed to happen. Like snowstorms south of the Mason-Dixon Line, or tornadoes in Massachusetts.

Speaking of which...

Last year, Massachusetts had one of those laughable tornado "watches." As if. 

Today we had an actual tornado "warning." Shit just got real. Like,  real tornadoes. Plural.

TV stopped, and that emergency broadcast system they test in the middle of your favorite shows, but never announce anything, started announcing that there were tornadoes out there. 

I couldn't help but think...

Sorry, Antoine, I couldn't help myself.

Some places were hit more than once, by like, waves of tornadoes. They were practically coming out of the woodwork. 

I at least hope they were polite to one another while they tore through innocent and unsuspecting Western Massachusetts communities. 

In all seriousness, however, my thoughts go out to those injured or otherwise impacted by this freak meteorological phenomenon.

Now, it's coming for me.

There's enough lightning outside my house right now to power Tokyo well into 2020, and before I finish this post (or my computer blows up from a power surge, whichever comes first) I have a few closing comments about this ridiculous weather:

-The National Guard has been deployed.

-There have been 4 deaths.

-The End is nigh. 

If I die after I post this, please craft my tombstone (assuming you can find most of the pieces of my corpse enough to bury them) in this likeness:

D