Evolution of the Prepster 001863 Heights Virus Spread by Contaminated Chobani:
It began as a CSOM plot to biologically engineer Chobani yogurt to be tailored to the mainstream and ironically counter-cultural tastes of both the preps and hipsters. Devoid of the practical skills to pull off this momentous marketing feat, they networked up to the A&S scientists, and, using promises of post-collegiate job security, persuaded a team of budding chemists to do the leg work. The plan, as we know all too well, had devastating consequences.
Derived from the toxic hipster irony protein, fermented, and enhanced via strains of Vineyard Vines and J-Crew amoebas in Merkert Labs, the Prepster 001863 Heights Virus, though not airborne, is highly contagious and fatal. Any absorption of a bodily fluid from an infected individual will result in a speedy death--but the symptoms don't stop there.
Initially designed to exacerbate Chobani cravings, the Prepster 001863 Heights Virus seizes the body's nervous system and, bypassing the cerebral cortex, stimulates consistent neural impulses which metamorphose an individual into a flesh-hungering zombie. Upon this realization, somewhere in the clinical trial phase, any and all research into the virus was immediately shut down. Unbeknownst to the research team, one overzealous lab technician had already taken samples of the Chobani for his own en masse trials on the student population at BC.
McElroy Commons--Ground Zero for the infection.
It spread quickly. The zombified student body was quick to add to their masses, and the already present Chobani-lust in the non-zombified students didn't help.
The federal government was quick to step in when the infection broke out across the campus, securing a quarantine from Cleveland Circle to Newton Center in order to stop transmission.
Currently, individuals remain in the quarantine that are non-zombie status. Here are four of them:
Dylan Brosef:
Dylan has sunglasses and a lot of friends. He wears baseball caps backward and has a good time on the weekends. He leads, by his standards, a content life. The last thing he expected was a horde of rampaging Chobani-zombies (or "Chombies"). He's always been suspicious of the widespread popularity of Chobani. If asked if he himself eats the Greek delicacy, he would probably respond with, "Dude, no way, I'm allergic to brogurt." Quickly taking refuge in his mod, he and his mod-mates held out for as long as they could. One by one they were picked off, until Dylan was the only one left. By hiding under a pile of unwashed clothes and beer cans, he was able to hide himself sufficiently well from the Chombies, and make his daring escape.
Ratings
Strength: 8
Intelligence: 4
Mobility: 6
Special note: These rating values drop dramatically when Dylan is hung over.
Sandy Whitecastle:
While once an avid eater of Chobani, Sandy had gone on her "no food ever"diet just in time to avoid infection. Initially terrified, Sandy soon realized that this was really what all her hours on the ellipticals were for. The fitness classes at the Plex had not been in vain; while at the time she made fun of her girlfriends for making her go to "Hand to Hand Combat"and the ever popular "What If You Need to Use a Shotgun"classes, she was now absolutely thankful. She knew that she could make it out of this situation: it was her time to shine and prove to everyone that just because her hair was blonde, and she used an upward inflection at the end of her sentences, she was just as capable as the next BC student.
Ratings
Strength: 8
Intelligence: 6
Mobility: 7
Special note: While Sandy is strong, independent, and smart, her ratings often drop in the presence of even minute distractions--roommate drama, boys, and alcohol to name a common few.
Professor McDermott:
Professor McDermott never really much liked teaching. Well, it's not that he didn't like teaching, per se, it's more that the students just refuse to conform to his ever-high standards. McDermott spends as little time on campus as physically possible, so when the quarantine was declared, he was much more agitated than frightened. He's been making his way from building to building, trying to complain, ever since. The zombies dont seem to be a problem for him, either. The former students just seem to instinctively stay away.
Ratings
Strength:1
Intelligence: 10
Mobility: 3
Special note: While incredibly perceptive and knowledgeable of the zombie situation and how to deal with it, it is often very hard to get anything out of Professor McDermott. He generally only answers questions through email (in short, single phrase sentences) OR during his office hours.
Eugene Winkle:
Eugene spends a lot of time studying, and not much time with people. When he's not held up in the lab doing countless, often meaningless experiments, he's usually in the library reading the same page over and over again, or trying to work out some chemistry problems. One night, he was in a study room for so long that he failed to notice that all of his peers in the library went missing. Suddenly his news feed was blowing up with zombie apocalypse nonsense.
Whatever, he has an O-Chem exam on Wednesday.
Ratings
Strength: 4
Intelligence: 8
*Practical intelligence:1
Mobility: 5
Special note: Lacking any knowledge of the real world, Eugene may be able to tell you about the physiology of the zombies, but doesn't really have any common sense or practical knowledge needed to make good decisions in these circumstances.
Stay tuned for the onset of the rest of Fitzy's ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE!
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