The Dark Souls Chronicles

So I, in a rather masochistic decision, have decided to play a game called Dark Souls. Normally, I would play this game like any other, presumably going towards the conclusion of the game in a relatively even manner. But this is different. Really, it's simply the hilariously high difficulty that is spurring this note, and my need, if not for sheer catharsis, to write down my thoughts as I go.

These series of posts are going to be a touch different than previous posts, in that there will be no pictures. I'm sorry, but the shit that goes down in this game on a regular basis are far beyond my artistic ability. Just sit back and enjoy.

-The tutorial wasnt that bad, except for that giant Asylum Demon with the hammer the size of two of me.

-I've been wandering around this fucking ruin for a while now, and the only thing that seems to be of any interst are the skeletons in the graveyard that like to kill me. Thankfully, I was able to run past them and grab an improbably large sword that I cant use.

-I found a cave in the graveyard that led to a dark and scary "Catacombs." I thought I'd peer in when a floating skull shrieked at me, and I went flying OUT of the cave, promptly dying. Saw THAT coming.

-I have to assume that the creepy elevator is the right way to go.

-So. There are these ghosts. I cant slash them with a sword, because they are ghosts. And I can't block them with my shield.... because they are ghosts. But you know what they can do, even though they are ghosts? Bite my neck clean out from the rest of me!

-I've resorted to running past the ghosts, since there's nothing really to do with my knight's shit. Yknow what I find? More ghosts!! Also, dead ends!!

-Quick recap. I stared my game over because I was sick of the ghosts and wanted to fuck them up, and the only logical thing that can fuck up ghosts, asside from silver, is magic. So I chose a Sorcerer class.

YOU KNOW WHAT CANT HIT THE GHOSTS??!?!?? FUCKING MAGIC.

-Remember that time I spent hours and hours of my life suicide running into ghosts?? There was a staircase behind a bush in the starting area.

I'm going to try there.

-"Watch out for drake." UM. WHAT.

-The drake encounter was short lived. He just sort of snarled and clawed at me for a few seconds, then flew away to some undisclosed location. I'm sure I'll be following him soon.

-But before that, I get to make friends with the Taurus Demon. I'm sure he'd be a cool guy if he didn't have such anger issues. Also, that mallet. 

-On second thought, I'm not sure he'd be such a cool guy. He might be more of a dick.

Only dicks decide to attack you on top of a large wall, where there's hardly room to churn butter let alone fight a demon.