BC Zombie Survival: The Guide

Evolution of the Prepster 001863 Heights Virus Spread by Contaminated Chobani:

It began as a CSOM plot to biologically engineer Chobani yogurt to be tailored to the mainstream and ironically counter-cultural tastes of both the preps and hipsters. Devoid of the practical skills to pull off this momentous marketing feat, they networked up to the A&S scientists, and, using promises of post-collegiate job security, persuaded a team of budding chemists to do the leg work. The plan, as we know all too well, had devastating consequences.

"Red Sky At Morn...Sailors Be Warned"

Why you sometimes SHOULD have technology on a camping trip.

Bots of 2011. No, They're just as stupid as you remember them being in the 90's.

Remember the good old days when you would be talking to your 7th grade friends on AIM about homework and who "liked-liked" whom? Ah, those were the good old days, when robots were our friends!

Luckily for you all, I still use AIM, and from time to time, restless bot spirits from the "Other Side" come into contact with me. I typically try to be accommodating, if not just the tiniest bit skeptical. The following are the chat logs between myself and some of these GENIUS lines of code with funny porn names.

THE FOLLOWING POST MAY CONTAIN:

-VIRUS-FILLED LINKS TO SLEAZY AMATEUR PORN SITES

-TRACE ELEMENTS OF NUTS

As such, I urge anyone with nut or porn allergies to forego reading this post. 

(Notice how this font is much smaller.)

Pangea II

I love this music video ("Without You" by David Guetta ft. Usher...for you lazy ones). It's all about the world coming together, and everyone looking really sexy at the beach and dancing while the continents collide over the course of 3 minutes and 30 seconds.

Nevertheless part of me is at odds with the logistics of this video.

Cute War: Valentines Day Edition

So yesterday was that widely-despised day that makes single people feel just how single they are right down through to their bones. Yesterday, for maybe the second time ever, I was wrapped up in the saccharine, frankly disgusting ritual of being ridiculously cute. I was being that person all the single people love to hate on love day. The following is the exchange of materials between Pat and I on Facebook.

I have to say, in this, the War of Cuteness, I do so humbly believe that I am the victor. Despite the fact that Pat made the above picture...whatever...

#BitchAssGenerationProblems

“Kids these days are too fucking soft, specially with all this anti-bullying bullshit...back in the day you just had to man the fuck up and fight ya own battles. Bitch Ass generation.” –A Facebook Status