3,000...You Sneaky Bitch

I wuv you all.

So, we've actually got TWO pieces of exciting news happening right now for the FGC:

1. We hit 3,000 views today!
2. We got our first LOVE MAIL!

The face to the right is, without exaggeration, extremely creepy.

In my burst of happiness, I could hardly control my artless hands, and flew straight to Paint to make the most elated face I knew how--demonstrating beyond any reasonable doubt that I actually do not know how. I'm also sleep deprived, as follows.

Guns Don't Kill People...

How My Parents Lied to Me About Pocahontas

Most people learn their history and fairytales from Disney.  I know I did, but unfortunately Disney doesn't always add the details in that makes the stories actually factual.  That is why my parents were able to get away with a devastating lie--the lie about Pocahontas.

I. Am. Gold.

Who would have thought that after the whole housing fiasco that I would wind up celebrating my newly-found College-Road-hood? Well, I did. These are some screenshots from my Facebook status that night. People's names and pictures have been changed to protect their identities.

Seriously, we wouldn't want their alter-egos being exposed, then they wouldn't be able to keep up their part-time super hero activities!

God's Gift To Man II

Our First Hate Mail

Ironically, on the day we got record-breaking views, we received our first hate mail!

Anthony Hopkins is totally badass--
which makes it that much better

Like the upcoming actor who is yet to be a star until he's been suspected of being gay, you are not a real blog until you receive your first hate mail.  It's a rite of passage.

Well, yesterday, that happened.

D is a proud papa.

K is a riled mama.




-K & D

Update

Hello everyone!  Currently we, at Fitzy Grunbeck, are suffering some housing and midterm exhaustion.  D has a crazy midterm and I have intense work to do for the next week or so.  Thus, we will get a new post out as soon as time clears up--expect a day or two.

In the meantime for some of those newer followers, check out our older work.

Here's a few+:

PSA:  Stairs

I'm Not on a Boat

I'd Be Pissed

PSA:  Nutella

Have a great weekend!

-K

And the verdict...

Worst pick time ever.  For everyone.  Like everyone.  9:45?  Worst pick time ever.

:(

I cry tears of utter sadness for J, J, J, D, & B.

Sad face.

-K

P.S.-- D bursted out laughing when he got the news.  Yeah, it's that bad.

P.S.x2-- Then he broke J's heart.  J wants him to glue it back together.

BC Housing: Cry, Laugh--BELIEVE

Spring is often a time of rebirth and new beginnings.  Squirrels frolicking, snow melting, dandelions blooming, birds chirping--even your shit is gorgeous in the spring.  Unless, you are a student at Boston College.  Because then, you are in the midst of the housing process:  the midst of Hell.  

In the Interim...

We at the Fitzy Grunbeck Chronicles apologize for a delay in posting. As BC is currently undergoing a housing rush, we're on an obnoxious roller coaster of emotions. And by we, I mean me, because K is all set in her cozy 8-man suite, while my friends and I are still doing the awkward housing limbo in actual Limbo, the place where the spirits of deceased babies and unfortunate Boston College students just sort of float around pointlessly.

Prepare yourselves for an awesome post about college housing. It's sort of inundated with tears and quasi-suicidal thoughts at the moment, but it's underway and should be out very soon.

D

The Mods: Land of Myth and Legend

His Mona Lisa

David drew this picture today.

It's pretty genius.

God's Gift To Man

The Collegiate Cycle

When you are first introduced to college, there is a warm and fuzzy feeling.  It's cute and new and just so sweet.  Your life is amazing.

I'm new! ...And kind of like a dinosaur!

Friday

It all started last Friday.

A Post For St. Patrick's Day

Contrary to popular belief, imbibing tremendous quantities of beer on St. Patrick's Day does not in fact make one Irish. Sorry.

JonBo

The force of the shrug was unbearable.

Back in the day of elementaryhood, there was a kid, JonBo, who was a bit odd.  I tried to be nice to him, being the new kid and all, but he shrugged me off.

So, that ended our potential new best- friendship.  He went on to do his own thing for a while.  He wasn't liked too much, but he had a couple good friends.  But one day he kind of ruined it for himself.

Kites: Lies in the Skies

I've always had a problem with people who enjoyed flying kites. Sure, they look all happy and picturesque. Good for them.

$#!% I Don’t Understand Vol. 1

BC is notorious for many things.  The Hail Mary pass, stairs, preppies, etc., but there is also something that is becoming a new trend, a new inexplicable trend:  Half-built-pointless walls in the middle of our former Dustbowl.

M (That's A Roman Numeral, Bitches)

views.
This is seriously cray-cray.
But in the best way-way (?)
You all really made my day-day.


I'll quit while I'm ahead with the rhyming.
<3


-K & D

Bapst: Scion of Silence

I've got nothing against studying. It's different for everyone. Sometimes it even makes you do better on tests or whatever. A lot of my friends from BC, however, all say that studying at Bapst's Library is "magical." Just because it looks like Hogwarts doesn't mean it's magical. Actually, Bapst is one hell of a scary place.

PSA: Stairs

I wouldn't do that for a million dollars.  Maybe.

In unrelated news, the Boston College campus is currently experiencing a pandemic--of stairs.  Unsuitable for anyone not in prime physical condition, these stairs mark a history of firm and toned calf muscles unseen in any other part of Boston.

Living in Exile...I mean Newton.

My room is way more stylishly decorated than this, if you were wondering.
And my bed is more than a platform.

Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like P-Diddy...who woke up late and is scrambling to get to his 9:00 AM class. Yeah, you might think this happens to every college kid, and it does, but in order for me to scramble to class, I have to scramble to the bus before I have any hopes of effectively scrambling anywhere.

Your Local Buckknife Dealer

Ever need a custom 7 inch stainless steal blade complete with handcrafted wood and leather case?

Well you've come to the right place in middle of nowhere coastal Oregon where we can outfit all of your big-ass knife needs!

We're Googleable!

I used to think everything but that question-you-have-but-don't-know-how-to-phrase was on Google. I was wrong.

The Fitzy Grunbeck Chronicles is proud to announce that we are now SEARCHABLE ON GOOGLE! Clearly this is a step in the right direction, and we couldn't have done it without you all.

UPDATE: We're actually becoming progressively more Googleable! Because of all you awesome people, there are 4 results now instead of just 2. Go you guys!

You too, refresh button, you too.

-K & D

The Unconventional Workout: Airport

It’s been quite a day of traveling, but you’re not at your destination yet.  You still have one connecting flight left and you haven’t been able to get in your daily dose of Pilates.  So, why not utilize the massive and elaborate building you are currently in?  Here are the steps to your success!

So. Much. M.I.A.

I've been a bit indisposed lately, and haven't gotten a post done in what seems like forever. As you've probably noticed, K so kindly made a post inquiring as to my whereabouts. All I can tell you is that I pulled through like a champ.

Where's David?

"Honey, that's the 6th one we've passed today!"

So... David is missing.  He's probably lying in the middle of the road somewhere in Malden next to one of the seven Bank of Americas.  Yes, seven.  Why are there seven?  Don't ask me.  The only time I've been there was to walk to David's house, and we saw Bank of America everywhere.  They own the town.  Oh, and the coffee place that makes it smell funny.

Stu

You'll never know...

I don’t have a problem with cross dressers.  It’s relatively acceptable for a woman to wear masculine clothing, so I say that a man can wear feminine clothing.

What’s the big deal?  I hate wearing high heels and if a man wants to take over that duty for me, well so be it.  Whatever makes your lemonade, floats your boat, or sinks it.

I'd Be Pissed If I Were Kleobis and Biton...But I'd Also Be Dead.

I'll just preface this by saying that Kleobis and Biton were the ancient-original B.AM.F's who suffered the ultimate consequence for their mother's fatally ambiguous wording. Ok, maybe Prometheus came first, but either way, they were pretty damn boss.

Starbuck(s)

Being a native Oregonian living in Boston, I am in the thick of enemy territory.  I am surrounded by Dunkin Donuts. 

So Hip That It's Square. So Square That It's Cubic.

K did a good job explaining her own steamy relationship with Minecraft, but my story? Prepare for flashback in 5...4...3...2...1...pagebreak!

PSA: Nutella

It's chocolate.  It's hazelnut.  It's chocolate and hazelnut mistaken for chocolate peanut butter.  It is Nutella.

Either I've been busy pressing refresh, or we've got 100 views!

Feles felix est.

I was only trying to dash Katlyn's hopes of starting a blog because I didn't think that we'd actually get anyone to read. ("O ye of little faith...") We know we're going a little strong, 5 posts in a day, but we wanted to make sure there were some good pickins to pique people's interest. Despite the quantity, every post is written with love, and possibly tears. Thanks to everyone for checking us out!

That having been said, who are you and why are you stalking us?

- K & D

Geology, Calc, and Chem! Oh My!

I've got a lot of friends who do chemistry and all those other crazy scientific thingamajiggies. I can respect that, I mean, I'm using some of them right now typing this.

So I hear them talking about moles of Ridicularium being lit on fire or dissolved in hydroboric acid and becoming some new thing with an incredibly difficult-to-pronounce acronym with numbers sandwiched in there sometimes and I can't help but hear a faint rushing sound overhead.

Minecraft and Me

A couple months ago, David introduced me to Minecraft.  It wasn’t love at first sight, I tell you.  He was a little bipolar with our relationship: always crashing at the start of a new adventure.  But finally, we compromised.  I let him be a little less sparkly and pretty, and he decided to calm down a bit and go with flow.  From then on, we were inseparable.

I'm Not On A Boat, And I Hope Never To Be Again

You know how people cry when they watch Titanic? I do too.

Not necessarily because of the truncated romance (though I'm sure that's part of it), but because they're on a goddamn sinking ship. One of them dies and the other one almost dies. And I can sympathize.

Yes, that's right, sympathize, not just empathize. I don't have the best luck with boats.

My First Stalker

Freshman year of high school is a time for the oddities to develop in a person.  These oddities can range from eating pepperoni with peanut butter or starting a blog or still being a boy scout or spontaneously joining the cross-country team.  It’s a normal period in life when people start to “learn” about themselves and try new things because that’s what you do in high school.  One of the things that people try most often is dating.

By then, freshman year of high school, you are old enough to say, “Dad, I’m a teenager.”  This teenage status is distinguished from middle school status because, let’s face it, being 13 really isn’t as cool as those Disney Channel Original movies told you.

A Little Etymology

Katlyn and I go to Boston College, and if you've ever heard of it, it's probably been bad mouthed for being a rich, snobby, white, Irish, Catholic school (but a damn good one)--all of these things are true, and I'm not denying that. Frankly, my family and I are poor as shit, so the first part doesn't apply to me; I'm also Protestant, not Cathlolic, so neither does the last one. Everything else in the middle?

Probably perhaps partly true. Maybe.

Regardless, our blog got its name from something K and I saw at the last hockey game we went to. I'm an awesome kid and bought my parents tickets to the same game for their Christmas presents (among other things, gosh), not that that's relevant, but I did.

So sitting there between the first and second periods, BC seemingly safely in the lead, the jumbotron-esque screen was showing the "Happy Birthday" shout-outs.

Patrick O'Donnell.

Ryan O'Brian.

Sean Gallagher.

And just as I was thinking to myself (and actually saying it out loud because my filter's only 5% active at any time) "Could this list get any more Irish?"

It did.

Dramatic Reenactment

The next name on that list was "Fitzy Grunbeck," at which point I proceeded to laugh more forcefully than necessary, probably to the glares of the people around us (whose seats we had most likely stolen [and when I say most likely, I really mean definitely {we know this because they told us so |disapprovingly|}]).

Upon Googling the above, there are no results. Even Google thought it was weird and tried to correct it.

No, Google, it's "Fitzy Grunbeck."

And he/she/it is about to rock your world.

D