I've always had a problem with people who enjoyed flying kites. Sure, they look all happy and picturesque. Good for them.
Well I have news for you all.
Flying kites is boring, short-lived unless you live in a place where they should be putting a wind farm anyways, and altogether just not fun. So stop smiling, you damned dirty kite. I'm about to put you the fuck out of business.
This is not to say that there aren't some bomb kites.
I don't have a problem with this kite because it could probably beat the shit out of me, and it's a portrayal of a creature which can actually fly. It's an eagle, and eagles are meant to be seen in the sky. Or at least, like, on a cliff ledge or something.
What I do have a problem with is those kites flying around up there that depict something which just screams "I SHOULDN'T BE UP HERE!"
So I've reached the following conclusion:
Kites should exist ONLY in the shape of something that can actually fly. Any individual found not to be acting in compliance with this mandate should be bitchslapped, fined heavily, set aflame, and executed by firing squad--in rapid succession.
We can't have our American children, who already struggle with basic concepts like finding Florida on a map, thinking that some things fly when they just don't.
So that means:
No.
No.
Definitely no.
We must band together as a people to stop afflicting our children with this unnecessary confusion. What kind of example are we setting by showing them images like this?
It's images like this which drive our youth to seek out hallucinogenic drugs. Let's keep them grounded in reality, which can be trippy enough as it is.
D
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